It’s Okay!

Hey, it’s me: The Mom Inspirer. Before I go to bed, let me share with you a few of my trials, tribulations and triumphs from the last couple of days.

Disheartened Teacher Drama: So this past Monday was the first day of our return from Fall Break. I traveled twice during the break and due to my constant feelings of regret about taking on a teaching position, I spent all of Sunday night tossing and turning as I thought about returning to work.

I have also been dealing with a few health-related issues, one of them being low-iron. As a result, by Monday morning I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.

I felt a great amount of anxiety as I pictured myself having to walk into the classroom and face my students.

So guess what, I missed worked Monday. I attempted to obtain a same-day medical appointment, but there weren’t any. Therefore, I scheduled one for the following Tuesday morning.

It gets a bit overwhelming thinking about all that went through my mind and the heaviness I feel related to this topic as I type.

The needs of my own children, the needs of the children I am responsible for in the classroom, the energy it takes to manage a classroom successfully (which I don’t seem to have), my concerns about physical health… Whew, I feel bad for even dumping all of this on you all, but it’s REAL.

While I was out, I received a few reminders about things I needed to get done. This added to my frustration. I started applying for other opportunities outside of teaching. My rationalization is I rather work somewhere that isn’t as stressful, even if I suffer a pay cut, because it will be worth the decreased stress.

Now I have had a few people try to encourage me to hang on in there: for the pay🤡, the job stability, what it’ll look like if I quit so soon and etc. The words of encouragement from both teachers and non-teachers😖 fall on deaf ears.

Deep in my soul, I feel I am in the wrong place. It’s hard. My voice is strained each day from constantly repeating myself and speaking at an elevated tone. If I want to get certain things (not even true lesson prep) completed, I have to stay late or bring work home.

Not to mention, my own child who attends the same school is sitting there with me while Mama is busy putting in grades and completing various administrative tasks for work. Oh, and I also have another little one waiting for me to get home.

It’s been a rough a few days folks. I haven’t quit (yet). Until my change comes, I am praying for strength to endure. I just really made a bad call with this one😔

Coding Triump: So I am about half way through the Learn HTML by Building a Cat Photo App course. This course is a part of the new Responsive Web Design Certification on freeCodeCamp.

I love the instant gratification of seeing an immediate result from my efforts. Sometimes I don’t get the challenges right on the first, second or third try, but I’m getting through them and it feels good.

This feeling of satisfaction is so unlike what teaching has been in the last few years for me. Once again, I’m just in a different place in life and teaching in the capacity I do at this stage in life is not a good fit for me.

It’s time to grow. It’s time to move on. Kudos to those who continue to feel called to teach. You are AMAZING!

Inspiration: After falling asleep with my little ones, I woke up about an hour or so later and finally shed a few tears😭

I wanted to cry when I pulled up to work Tuesday morning, but I didn’t. I wanted to cry in the car on the ride home, but I didn’t want my daughter to see me break.

I waited so long, I almost didn’t feel the ability to cry once I was alone and in a quiet place. But I needed an emotional release. I began to pray and express my feelings. I also read a short passage that gave me a bit of hope⭐

I want you to know, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to break. But please, don’t ever give up on yourself!

Doors🚪 of opportunity, growth and healing are opening for you!

The Mom Inspirer